Thursday, April 15, 2010
Posted by Harrison Mooney
Yes, yes. Let's all agree that playoff predictions are an elaborate guessing game. I believe Skeeter just pointed this out. However, we can all agree that, when lady fortune bequeaths a correct prediction to a hockey fan, there is no finer feeling. To dream, to gloat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would also like to make some predictions, but, unlike Skeeter, I'm going to err on the side of caution and stick with the only team I know well. Here are ten Canucks-based predictions that are fairly likely.
10. Mason Raymond will skate quite quickly.
9. Shane O'Brien will wow the crowd with a remarkable bit of patience and stickhandling, only to carry the puck out of the defensive zone himself, make the breakout pass too late into a neutral zone foray, and accidentally ice the puck.
8. Sami Salo will be given a Henrik Sedin pass to the slot for a perfect one-timer and sure goal, and his stick will shatter, as the puck slides harmlessly into the boards.
7. Kyle Wellwood will have an opportunity for an empty-net goal, on a partial breakaway, and will stickhandle the puck into the net.
6. In one shift, Ryan Kesler will get high-sticked in the face by each member of the Los Angeles Kings. No penalty will be called.
5. Henrik Sedin will make an amazing pass to Daniel Sedin, who will roof the puck for a goal. Next period, Daniel Sedin will make an amazing pass to Henrik, who will try to pass the puck back to him through two defensemen. It will carom off of one of them for another goal.
4. Roberto Luongo will make a litany of enormous saves, but a flukey goal will go in off the knob of his stick. The media will continue to question him.
3. Mikael Samuellson will lead a 3-on-2 rush into the offensive zone, and shoot the puck from an ungodly angle. He will do this many, many times. Many times. But one time, he will score, and we will love it.
2. Microphones will pick up Ryan Kesler saying something incendiary. Microphones will also pick up Alex Burrows echoing the statement with a taunt that is well-researched, but completely unintelligible.
1. For no reason, a 3:47 of the third period, Skeeter will yell, "Pass it to Bulis!"