Friday, April 23, 2010

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Kings, April 23, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass It To Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.

Well, how about that? I feel great. I think I might keep this on the PVR forever, and watch it every night, in favour of having intercourse with my wife. It was that satisfying. Let's get right into it. (Editor's note: That was Harrison. Skeeter would like it made clear that he prefers intercourse with his wife to watching Canucks games on PVR)

  • This game featured a much better start by the Canucks' penalty kill. They were so on their game that they killed off the first two-minute minor in eight seconds. Good on ya, boys.
  • Anybody else catch Fin as a green man? A little late to this party, Fin, but we still like you. On the flipside, I think I saw the Green Men repeating moves tonight. I expect unlimited creativity and preparation out of you guys. I saw one King head to the box and the green guy kind of had a "maybe next time" look on his [featureless] face.
  • More goals by Mikael Samuelsson. That's seven in five games. What's really incredible about his streak is that he's putting everything glove side. Like Gunner Stahl. "He's fancy. He'll go glove."
  • Craig Simpson needs to consult a dictionary on the difference between complexity and complexion. He also needs to use less sexually descriptive phrases. The Kings were "getting into a nice tight box" is perhaps a smidge racy.
  • For the conspiracy theorists, I hope you caught DJ Dave's tribute to you guys when "Sabotage" hit the speakers after the second penalty that led to the five-on-three in the second period.
  • Andrew "Barabbas" Alberts played quite well tonight. I like his big body when he's up against forwards like Handzus and Fredrik "Is that You" Modin. And, just when we were once screaming "crucify him!" he gets an assist on the seventh goal. He actually has more points than Alex Burrows. Just sayin'.
  • LA's total collapse in the third period was like those episodes of Law & Order where the criminal self-destructs and admits he did it while the district attorney is questioning him. We all know it. Just show us your true self. So gratifying.
  • Speaking of gratifying, I don't know what was better. When SOB beat up on Wayne Simmonds and then flashed the shaky pistols like he was partying at the Roxy, or when Rick Rypien pounded on Clune. I'm thinking the second one, as I'm pretty sure I'm heard Glenn Healy imply afterward that Rypien was a hockey god.
  • Meanwhile, on that self-destruct, Demitra and Samuelsson made Ersberg look like he was playing in the 80s, what with the shots from the wing that beat him so cleanly. Back then, even the best goalies in the world couldn't stop those shots. These days, let in a couple and you'll get pulled for the goalie that just got pulled. As Skeeter said, consistently missing the opportunity for puns tonight, "Quick was put back in the game rather swiftly."
  • Roberto Luongo played great tonight. 'Nuff said.
  • The Sedins have combined for fifteen points in this series. I'll tell you when home ice matters: when you have the last change. They seemed unstoppable tonight, and one of the major reasons was that Terry Murray couldn't seem to get his matchups.
  • The Demitra-Wellwood-Bernier line was on fire tonight. I hesitate to say Wellwood was playing like a man possessed. He wasn't, but I saw him take a slap shot tonight. Maybe the hardest shot he's ever taken. Most times when he shoots, it looks more like a saucer pass.

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