Friday, November 19, 2010

Raffi Torres is Goofy-Looking and I Love Him

Raffi Torres is quickly worming his way into my heart as one of my favorite Canucks this season. His heart-worming ability is partly due to absolutely heart-warming pictures like this one of Torres with his daughter (seriously, that's adorable), but mainly because he is an extremely goofy-looking guy. I find it incredibly difficult to resist liking goofy-looking guys. It's one of the reasons Kyle Wellwood and Jan Bulis are PitB favorites.

Raffi Torres continues that tradition in a big way. Witness the headshots of the Canucks' third line as recently posted on the Kurtenblog:

As Sesame Street taught us, one of these things is not like the others. Torres looks like he just saw a ghost and it's in the process of eating all his Apple Jacks. He's surprised and morose all at the same time. But it's not really his fault: his eyes perpetually look like they're trying to escape from his head, as if he had a literal brainfart1 and they can't stand the smell. This gives Torres a certain wide-eyed craziness at all times (though this wide-eyedness doesn't seem to help his vision on the ice).

Couple that overall goofiness with a penchant for goal-scoring and the occasional massive hit that seems to break the laws of physics and he's well on his way to filling the oddball-shaped hole in my heart that has been empty since Kyle Wellwood went to Russia. Don't worry, Kyle, you can settle down in one of my lungs: like Jello, there's always room for Wellwood.

After the jump, a brief celebration of Raffi's goofiness, which I love. Don't ever change, Raffi, don't ever change.

1. Does it bother anyone else that "brainfart" actually has its own wikipedia entry?


  1. Does not bother me at all; incredible, in fact. Every day I sit here waiting for more Welly comments...definitely as Torres-icly enigmatic, yet endearing as Pratt's, umm, happiness...

  2. This is my favourite post ever.

    All hail our new favourite hockey person!

  3. Another reason I love that picture of him with his daughter is that the expression on his daughter's face is a carbon copy of his usual facial expression when he's on the ice. It's a genetic trait.

  4. Speaking of...I notice our Nucks seem to have instituted an affirmative action program similar to the Thrasers except for red-heads. Come to think of it seems like a lot of teams that go deep in the playoffs are overly gingery, or maybe just gingery enough. What about it Harrison: are they marketing to the day walkers or is it a moneyball move? Maybe another "racial" controversy will get "the blogosphere" into the pages of the NYT again! But be sure to contact Canucks for a comment...that's called journalism.

  5. At one point I was going to "write" an article that was just a straight copy-paste job of Harrison's Atlanta piece, with all references to Atlanta Thrasher changed to Vancouver Canucks and all references to black players changed to redhead players. Don't know why I never did...

  6. I personally think he's part lizard, but I have come to love him, too. Twice now I'm seen him skate directly into the boards and bounce gently off like a broken roomba. It's hard to hate.

    On the Wellwood front, he - played a game with a mysterious green dot on his face?

  7. Harrison, if that was directed at me, then I'm your umm...guy in agreement [brass tacks, love your guys' work...want to be like you when I grow up] Heading to the A&W on my bike, want some onion rings?

  8. Unfortunately, marpolejoel, it was directed at Skeeter. But nice try bogarting the compliment. I do that all the time.

    Checkout clerk: This is a beautiful arrangement.
    Me, in line at the flower shop: Why thank you. I dress myself.
    Clerk: I meant the flowers.
    Me: Oh. I just thought, well, you're a checkout clerk... I thought you were checking me out.
    Clerk: I wasn't.
    Me: My mistake. I am so sorry. I bet this happens to you all the time.
    Clerk: It never happens. Never.

  9. Classic! That's what I figured...blogging is teh & Fresca is easy...sometimes tough to keep them separate...[Nice festive helmet on the Bulis, by the way]

  10. Festive helmet? How did that get there!? Oh Jan, you're such an unpredictable mascot.

  11. Hahahaha this is a great article. Laughing way too much. Nicely done. I do miss Wellwood too... although Alberts reminds me of Welly a little bit. Forget Fin, we should make Wellwood our mascot, dress him up like Johnny Canuck. They can even count his salary against the cap.

  12. It appears that his daughter got those eyes from him as well!


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