Friday, November 05, 2010

Why Guillaume Desbiens Broke His Hand


Chris Schneider - AP

What's wrong with this picture? On first glance, this picture is great! A Canucks fourth-liner, Desbiens, stepping up to fight Colorado's Cody McLeod to keep the Canucks momentum going in a sterling 3-0 win last night. What's more, Desbiens conclusively won the fight, bloodying McLeod with some solid punches.

And then he left the game with a broken hand.

Take another look at that picture.

Closer.

What in the world is Desbiens' thumb doing inside his fist?! I'm a pacifist and I know better than to do that! Desbiens, on the other hand, is meant to be a competent pugilist with fighting a big part of his resumé for playing on an NHL fourth line. It's simple: "Never make a fist with your thumb inside your other fingers. When you punch this way you will end up breaking your thumb."

Desbiens tucked his thumb under his other fingers in his fist. He broke his hand. There is a cause and effect relation. The only possible reason that I can think of for why he hadn't broken his hand previous to this fight is that he hasn't hit anyone hard enough.


Edit: I just noticed that there's an intriguing theory being bandied about on the Canucks.com forums that Guillaume Desbiens formed a fist in this way and punched Cody McLeod in the helmet in order to guarantee himself an NHL salary while he is on the IR. With Rick Rypien returning from suspension, the theory goes, Desbiens would be worried about being sent down to the Manitoba Moose, where his salary would drop from $550,000 for the year to $55,000.

While I find this theory a bit absurd, it's mainly because I cannot possibly conceive actually injuring myself in order to make more money, especially because it's not guaranteed that Desbiens would be sent down. At the same time, Desbiens is undoubtedly a tougher person than I am. So I offer the following picture of a previous fight Desbiens was in without comment:


67 comments:

  1. Unreal... Nobody ever told him that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Another possible reason, which I mentioned in the IWTG: he punched a helmet with full force. Isn't the point of a helmet to protect against exactly that? It's a little like firing a nuclear missile into a spaceship that has an impenetrable force field, like in Independence Day.

    Mind you, that was of no consequence and everybody forgot about it after it happened. Major plothole. Unfortunately for Desbiens and his hand, in the real world, there are consequences to poorly planned acts of aggression.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even still, a well-formed fist and a proper punching technique should not result in a broken hand even from punching a helmet...

    ReplyDelete
  4. what i have learned from these comments is that "how you make a fist" is "near dan carcillo"

    2010: having expended all possible conspiracy-theory resources, canucks fans turn on their own team, accusing them of being injured on purpose

    2011: the infamous "sedins are skrull" rumours begin

    (which as it turns out are only half-true)

    ReplyDelete
  5. That theory is so stupid nobody could possible believe it.

    WHICH IS WHY ITS BRILLIANT

    ReplyDelete
  6. Of course it's stupid. It's completely ludicrous and unbelievable. No one with any sense could possibly believe that Desbiens injured himself in that fight.

    And yet, for $500,000, would you break your own hand?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brilliant, why did no one else find this? Why is this Blog telling the stories John Garret is too afraid to tell?

    Before I even read the article I saw the zoomed picture of Desbiens fist. Illicit jovial response. Brilliant.

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  8. @Tyson

    To be quite honest, I'm legitimately surprised that no one in the mainstream media caught this. I guess people don't care enough about fourth-line fighters to look into their injuries.

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