Monday, March 28, 2011

20 Reasons Daniel Sedin Is Bad at Penalty Shots

"I suck at this."

With Daniel Sedin's failed penalty shot attempt Friday, the NHL scoring leader is now 0-for-4 in his career on penalty shots, and it's never really been close. He's bad at it. He's so bad at it that Alain Vigneault used this most recent non-goal as an example of why Daniel never gets a chance in the shootout. It's a strange anomaly, really, especially considering that Daniel Sedin is a pretty fabulous scorer. Furthermore, he's in possession of one of the NHL's most accurate shots. You'd think he'd be money in these situations, but it would seem penalty shots and shootouts just aren't particularly suited for his game. Here are 20 possible explanations:

  1. Every time he leaves a drop pass for Henrik, the referee stops play.

  2. You're not allowed to go back and start again if the shooting lane isn't just right.

  3. It's way easier to score when you have to knock the puck out of mid-air while simultaneously getting crosschecked in the back by two guys.

  4. It's really bizarre not having your identical twin brother who plays on the same team as you on the ice with you at all times. Yep, that's what's bizarre.

  5. In Sweden, instead of penalty shots, the shooter and the goaltender race to see who can build a cheap bookshelf the fastest.

  6. Without being able to see the back of Henrik's jersey, Daniel can't tell which one he is, and forgets he's the goal scorer.

  7. With Alex Burrows seated on the bench instead of splayed across the crease, Daniel is always taken aback by the fact that the net has a goaltender.

  8. The league won't let him tape a poster of Henrik to the glass behind the goal as a reference point.

  9. It's hard to put much mustard on a one-timer from centre ice.

  10. Right before he goes to shoot, Henrik pulls him aside and says, Last year, when I won the Hart, I scored on a penalty shot. Did you know that the H on the back of my jersey stands for Hart? Anyway, don't blow it.

  11. He's never gotten a chance against Miikka Kiprusoff.

  12. Every time he sets up shop behind the net, the referee stops play.

  13. Typically, Daniel just mimics what Henrik does, but after thirty seconds of sitting at the bench giving his brother a puzzled look, the referee just declares it a save.

  14. On penalty shots, you're not allowed to jam the puck in on the rebound. If you've ever seen Daniel Sedin play hockey, this one's not much of a mystery.

  15. If Henrik doesn't get his assist, it gets the hose.

  16. He's so used to looking for his brother and so disoriented from all the open area, he keeps accidentally passing to his reflection in the ice.

  17. Once he gains the blue line, he stops and waits for Henrik. But Henrik never shows up. Daniel's really worried about him, actually.

  18. The Sedins' creepy wizard powers are enhanced by their proximity to one another. With every stride away from the bench, Daniel becomes weaker.

  19. Henrik says goals you score in a penalty shots don't count towards your season totals.

  20. He wanted the powerplay.

20 comments:

  1. That's Henrik in the pic!

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  2. Ha. 2 seconds after the post goes up, someone spots a mistake. Fixed.

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  3. bi-line should say, "he sucks at this"

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  4. unless you change the picture as i post my comment.

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  5. Right before he goes to shoot, Henrik pulls him aside and says, Last year, when I won the Hart, I scored on a penalty shot. Did you know that the H on the back of my jersey stands for Hart? Anyway, don't blow it.

    bwahahaha

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  6. oh god, this is too hilarious

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  7. Number 6 is my favourite xD but number 18 is the most logical (then how come Henrik was able to score in bunches last season when Daniel was out?) and correct me if I am wrong, but didn't Daniel score a beauty goal (and pulled a nifty move) on that breakaway (or was it a shootout goal?) against Turco earlier on in the season? And wasn't it Henrik that scored a breakaway goal on Miller not too long ago??

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  8. #5 and #15 are my favourites.

    #21 - unlike his selfish older brother, Daniel doesn't like to get points when no one else does.

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  9. maybe it's sort of a semi-Swedish thing. Remember Naslund? the sloowwest shootout shot ever. and once he forgot the puck at center ice. Maybe it's a Swedish thing from the village they all come from or something.

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  10. the Hawks and Wings in overtime
    when Marian hammers one home
    and Chicago wins in Detroit
    thereby prompting this poem

    now Anaheim is back in eighth
    and Chicago is reassured
    if Phoenix can just beat the Stars
    the Hawks a spot will have secured

    to meet the 'Nucks in series one
    I'd truly find a total blast
    Vancouver fans know who'd go on
    as they have seen in playoffs past

    and Chicken Chick would see she's wrong
    as I have argued all along

    chicken hawk

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  11. When you think of the breakaway goal last year, where Henrik had a clear line to the net and STILL felt the need to pass to Dank, you can see why these two aren't good at shootouts.
    They love plays, and passing, and strategy, and thinking the puck into the net....shootouts/penalty shots don't really work that way.

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  12. #22 - Daniel learned everything he knows about penalty shots from Naslund.

    "Okay Danny, you ready?? Okay, start skating in, that's it and -- woah, slow down, what's your hurry!? Easy there, speedracer. Okay that's better, now here comes the hard part... wow, nice one Danny!! That was a beauty. And now that you've successfully picked up the puck at center, it's smooth sailing from here! Ya, don't even worry about the rest. Just remember that everyone you know is watching, and all the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Bye!"

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  13. Like all wizards, he needs to believe he can, that's where the power is... But at some point, he must think, Whatevs (with a Swedish accent it's probably more like, 'We' tev'), I don't *have* to. I've got like 1 million points already.' You know, humility is key for the wizardrous sedinerie.

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  14. Oh and how could I forget! Henrik scored a beauty goal on a penalty shot on none other than Martin Brodeur...so i suppose thats why you gave 20 reasons why Daniel is bad at penalty shots eh ;)

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