Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Daniel Sedin One-Ups His Brother, Has Another Child

"I'm going to crush you." "Not if I crush you first."

As if it wasn't already perfectly clear that Daniel Sedin is using rage and envy over Henrik's career year last season to propel himself to an Art Ross and Hart trophy this season, we got further proof, Tuesday, when Daniel's wife gave birth to their third child.

That's one more child than sired by the Henrik Sedins, which means Daniel's competitive rage is so all-consuming, he's committed himself to outscoring Henrik both on and off the ice. This is now a literal blood feud.

And, if it weren't already apparent that Daniel is dead set on matching his brother's total Harts and Art Rosses solely out of spite, he'll be back in the lineup tonight when the Canucks face the Red Wings. Seriously, he shook his daughter's hand, kissed his wife goodbye, and caught the red-eye to Michigan. Considering Detroit and Vancouver are resting guys on a whim (Mikael Samuelsson's out with "the sniffles", and Pavel Datsyuk's missing the game with "ennui"), you've got to believe Daniel is determined to play. Why might that be?

Well, do you remember what happened last year when Daniel missed a few games?

During those five weeks, Henrik turned into Supergretzky, tallying 16 hat tricks and 2900 points. By the time Daniel returned, a statue of Henrik was under construction outside GM Place and Robson Street had been renamed Henrik & Only Henrik Boulevard. Daniel was like, "I'm back, everyone!" And everyone was like, "Oh hi, Henrik. I thought you went home for the day."

Clearly, Daniel Sedin is now petrified to let his brother play a game without him, and it's an understandable anxiety. When he misses time, people forget he exists and, after all the work he's put in to match Henrik's accomplishments this year, that would be a devastating blow. He's got a seven-point lead on Henrik in the scoring race, likely insurmountable because they tend to share the ice. But, if Daniel lets up for even a second, Henrik is free to gain ground, just like when when he briefly turned around in the womb, and Henrik darted past him towards the light.

You know Henrik's trying to put a stop to this revenge strategy. Remember that empty-netter from his own side of center the other night? That's out of character for Henrik--unless he's trying to gain ground in the scoring race. That goal was unassisted, except by sibling rivalry.

Daniel has to play tonight to protect everything he's worked for all season. If it slips away from him now, well, it would kill him. Not literally, of course. Daniel couldn't bring himself to do that, especially considering how many points his brother would score without him.

18 comments:

  1. "if Daniel lets up for even a second, Henrik is free to gain ground, just like he did when he briefly turned around in the womb, and Henrik darted past him towards the light."

    Great stuff :)

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  2. Consider this:

    On May 12 2010, Henrik had a son named Harry. Totaling his number of kids to 2. The same amount Daniel had. They're equals, Daniel is no longer top dog in that respect.

    On June 23rd 2010, Henrik Sedin was presented with the Art Ross and Hart Trophy at the NHL Awards. He has now been clearly ranked by the NHL as the better twin.


    Exactly 9 months later, Daniel was expected to miss the Detroit game on March 23 2010, due to his wife giving birth.

    Interesting that the birth of Anna (that's her name btw) happened exactly 9 months after Hank won the Hart.

    What can we deduce from this...

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  3. @N

    ROFLMFAO OMG I'M DYING

    ONLY THIS BLOG AND IT'S COMMENTERS WOULD FIGURE OUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS

    So clearly when Danny watched Henrik win the Hart, he became determined to outbest and outscore him in everyway and he started that very same night? >;) :P

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  4. I'm Anonymous 2:08 and it's weird, that comment I'm replying to is gone! brb quoting it give me a second

    BTW great job on this post guys, I laughed too loudly for being in a library

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  5. I laughed so hard I think I may have pooped myself...

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  6. Good point, N, but the baby was born yesterday, so the timeline is off by a day. That would have been hilarious, though.

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  7. I come to this blog for the wit and humor. I stay for the use of ennui. That's classic.

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  8. Daniel's quest for blood, guts and glory will never not provide comedy gold.

    A+++

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  9. Well he obviously told the baby to come early so that he wouldn't miss a game.

    The timing is just such a perfect coincidence. :)

    You know Henrik's trying to put a stop to this revenge strategy.

    Do you think he'll stop passing to him then?

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  10. cont: Do you think he'll stop passing to him then? Because that would be hilarious.

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  11. Problem is, they need each other to get points. It's one of life's grandest ironies.

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  12. Ah, but it's already public knowledge that the baby was overdue...

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  13. Ah, tCL, don't bring up facts. We only deal in Tru Fakts® here!

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  14. I really should stop reading PitB in class. It'll only create problems if I laugh out loud

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  15. Big controversy over the actual father of just broke... turns out the new baby girl looks JUST LIKE HENRIK. Somebody's going to see Maury...

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  16. Awesome post. The joke about Henrik being born first was pure win!

    But seriously, Daniel is a beast this year....and especially in the last couple months.

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  17. So now we see that Daniel really is turning up the heat - not only has he sired one more child than Henrik, he's now also threatening to win the Rocket Richard - a trophy that Henrik might never win... The Twinning was strong last night...

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